"I don't know how to pray."
This is what a precious 3 year old said to me a few weeks ago when the preschool class came in for chapel. I was not okay with this because one of the fundamental truths (and gifts) of Christian life is that God has created us to experience His love and to know how to pray, as Jesus prayed, with intimacy and confidence (John 17).
So I stopped, and said to this child, "I think you CAN pray, but let's do it now together." I told him to close his eyes, I prayed, "Jesus, thank you for loving us and wanting to speak to us. Please show Isaac how much You love him." And then we waited 30 seconds in quiet (miracle #1: Eight 3-year olds sitting in perfect stillness and silence). Then I said, "Thank You, Jesus. We love you. Amen."
And then Isaac burst out, "I think I felt something move in my heart!" (miracle #2). And his eyes were shining brightly, and he was so excited - it made me tear up, because it reminded me of how God is a Good Father who loves to give good gifts (i.e. the Holy Spirit) to His children (Luke 11: 13).
This is why teaching prayer - early and often - is so crucial to a child's life - not just to his faith life or "spiritual life," but for living a fruitful LIFE. I want to share three elements on how to teach your kids to pray and ENJOY being a daughter or son of God.
- Make a space and a place for kids to hang out with God
Human beings do not naturally crave discipline and habits that are good for us (going for a run or eating chips on the couch? You know which one I'd prefer to do!) Similarly, the early stages of learning to pray require intentionality. Just like having special gym clothes or a particular gym you're committed to going, it helps kids to have a specific space and place designated for hanging out with God - a prayer corner with some pillows to lean against, with their favorite Bible book, and perhaps a music-playing device. When you create a physical space you can help your child develop a mental and emotional space for enjoying prayer. Recall that Jesus often withdrew to mountains as His appointed place of prayer with His Father (Mark 6:46). - Music is key
Music is a HUGE aid in helping kids engage their hearts in worship. Worship music can be loud and fun (e.g. Hillsong Kids "Crazy Noise" album is awesome) or quiet and contemplative (e.g. Bethel Kids music). Group VBS on YouTube is another great resource for familiar songs your kids can sing and dance to in worship. You can make a playlist on Spotify or YouTube and play the music for your child (try not to show the video portion). It takes time for kids to develop a language of prayer so worship music is a great help in giving them words they might not yet have as they grow in confidence in prayer. - Encourage listening to God and waiting for a specific amount of time
My husband and I have hosted and participated in prayer meetings for the past 20 years and one thing we've noticed in our young adults is a lack of confidence in their ability to hear God's voice. So set a timer for 1 minute (at first) and encourage your kids to simply sit and hear what God might be saying to them. As with learning any language we need to train our ear to recognize and understand a new language. Let's help kids get familiar with the voice of God by training their hearts and ears to wait for God's voice - and to grow confident in recognizing His voice. After a minute of listening and waiting, ask your child if they heard anything. In the beginning they will probably say, "No" and then one day they'll say, "Well, I don't know if it was me or if it was God." That's a GREAT thing - because now your child is starting to walk in faith (believing that God is speaking to them). Affirm what they're hearing (unless it's not Bible-based!) and encourage them to keep asking God to speak to them because you'll see how exciting it is when kids realize (as the preschooler above did) that God really does speak to them.
I am available over zoom (the online meeting platform) to help walk kids and parents through any of these steps so please reach out to me and we'll set up a meeting! With all this time at home, we have a unique opportunity to develop and grow in the enjoyable practice of prayer. There is no better use of our time here on earth (Luke 10:41-42).